


A State Of Silence

by Justasmalltownslytherpuff



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Good Parent Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:53:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29714016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justasmalltownslytherpuff/pseuds/Justasmalltownslytherpuff
Summary: A Severus Snape Short Story.This story deals a lot with grief and the loss of someone he loves dearly.
Relationships: Minerva McGonagall & Severus Snape, Severus Snape/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 5





	A State Of Silence

20th April. The day he had lost everything. It had started like any normal day. He woke up, had breakfast in their quarters and then set out to do work. Eleanora wasn't working that day as she had a hospital appointment with Poppy to check in on their baby's health and make sure that Eleanora was eating right. Poppy gave her the news that he was on track to be born in June like he was supposed to and Eleanora rushed to her husband's classroom to tell him the news.

He was teaching a class but that had never stopped her, the students loved her and always wanted to know how her pregnancy was coming along. It did annoy him when she disrupted his classroom but it was soon diminished when he saw how happy she was and she only ever did if it was about the Baby. In some ways, he appreciated it.

The students always picked up how tense he was around the appointments and in turn subconsciously mimicked his emotions causing quite a disruption in the class. But when Eleanora came in and told the news the whole classed sighed in relief, the atmosphere becoming lighter. But that was the start of his day.

By lunchtime, the pain in his arm had become unbearable. He had spoken to Dumbledore a few minutes prior before apparating and finding himself in front of Malfoy Manor. When he reached the room he did his usual of blocking off his mind with occlumency and bowing to the Dark Lord. After explaining why he was late, which was because he couldn't leave until Lunchtime. Technically he wasn't supposed to leave until after dinner but for some reason, the Dark Lord had changed his mind. Severus’ heart stopped when the victim of their meeting was brought in.

‘Here we have a witch who teaches muggle studies at Hogwarts. Oh and look, she's trying to produce offspring. You wouldn't happen to know who the father was would you Severus?’

The death eaters all began laughing but Severus didn't. They had already discussed a plan on what to do if the Dark Lord ever found her but he didn't think it would be so soon. Not when she was with child. Their plan consisted of them pretending that Severus was using her as his entertainment and that the child wasn't his. The Dark Lord already knew this of course. Its why Severus didn't react.

He was hoping that nothing too serious would happen to her. The Dark Lord tended to do the torturing in the evenings. Its when Nagini was most hungry for the cleanup but today was different. Today it began at Lunchtime. And today it wasn't just the victim. Somehow the Dark Lord knew that it was Severus child. And so his fun began with him.

‘Crucio!’

That curse wrang like bells through his head in the years to come. The pain wracked through his body, flinging him from his seat and when it stopped his limbs shook with. But it started again and after five more times he was left screaming and writhing on the floor. His limbs convulsing in agony. But his pain didn't stop there. No, the Dark Lord couldn't have that. Couldn't have his most loyal death eater producing offspring with a “muggle lover”. And so he got Dolohov to lean him against the wall in perfect view of his wife. The tears streaming down her face at the site of his torture. When they locked eyes, he later regretted not being able to speak.

‘Severus, I love you so much. It's my fault I'm here. I took a walk and I didn't take anyone with me I'm so sorry. I love you.’

Their connection was cut off when a gut-wrenching scream echoed through the hall.

‘Crucio!’

This was Severus’ punishment. Being cruico'd himself was merely a warning not to lie to him again. This was his torture. To watch as his wife convulsed onto the table, the pain became unbearable. Her screams echoing through the air.

‘My baby, my baby!’ She half sobbed, half screamed. He hated himself for what he did next. He tore his gaze from hers focusing on other things around the room. He couldn't watch this torture. It was his fault she was here. He knew the dangers he was getting her into and he still married her. Looking around he noticed he wasn't the only one looking away from the woman in the centre of the table. Draco, Lucius, Narcissa even Bellatrix and a few others were holding in their tears and trying to not pay attention. So when Voldemort asked for someone to take me out so he could finish in peace, he hadn't realised he had been sobbing for his wife and child, the Malfoys were the first people over.

Leaving the room he didn't look back over his shoulder for he feared he would not survive looking into the pleading cries of his wife.

Reaching the living room he slid down the wall sobbing into his arms. He knew why Lucius and Narcissa couldn't bear to watch the torture. Eleanora had been like an aunt to Draco, one that Bellatrix could not be. She kept him grounded and safe in the school, teaching him what was wrong and right more than anybody else could. She was the reason he wouldn't follow in his father's footsteps. She taught him to be like Severus. An informant for the order and this Lucius and Narcissa were forever in debt. They never wanted their son to grow up in this life.

It wasn't long before a small set of arms wrapped around him. He concluded when looking up that it was his godson Draco, and for once he allowed the embrace. Burying his head into the boy's shoulder, sobbing endlessly still for his wives cries still had not stopped. Now he had no idea what they were doing to her and for that he was glad. He hated himself for being so selfish but no man could ever watch his wife go through what she did.

He sat in his godson's arms for at least another 30 minutes before the cries eventually stopped and it was at that moment he knew he had lost his family. Both his wife and his son and he hadn't even been able to fight back. He knew in years to come when the Dark Lord was finally defeated that people would come to ask why he didn't fight for her and that explanation would be long but he would do it. He would explain why his role in the war was too important, why the grip Dumbledore had on him meant he couldn't even try to protect the ones he loved but of course this was all based on whether he himself survived till the end of the war. He had already had one fuck up. Another one and the Dark Lord wouldn't even hesitate to end him. After all, he was replaceable.

He felt himself being led somewhere but he was too numb to know where. He knew his wife and son were dead. Killed by the Dark Lord. He couldn't stop himself from repeating it in his head. So when the opportunity came to show his allegiance to Dumbledore publically he took it at the first opportunity he could get.

‘Uncle Severus, Mother said we are getting rid of your mark. All three of us have already it's your turn now. We can get out of here, we can finally fight against him.’

Five minutes later his Godson spoke again.

‘Your free.’

Despite having just lost his wife and babe he could have smiled. Smiled that their sacrifice had been worth it. That they had died to help him survive. That they died so he could finally pledge his allegiance to the side of the Light. That they had died so Lord Voldemort could finally be destroyed once and for all.

Free.

That word rang around his head and for once he no longer hid his emotions in the presence of the Malfoys. He thought his arms around his best friend's neck and Lucius did the same. They had spent years trying to get rid of the mark and now it was done. They were free to fight the correct side. The side they should have been on from the start. Now they could help all the children who had been subjected to the dark mark from a young age. The children who had been forced into a life where they had to kill their own classmates, a teacher even family.

It wasn't long before the four of them had apparated back to the castle. Dumbledore knew the Malfoys allegiance was to him. He had watched as Narcissa broke down as she told him she needed to keep the children safe. That the dark lord no longer cared about his followers, cared if they were still children or cared if they were too weak to even kill someone. Now it was all about power. Who had the biggest army. All the death eaters were on their toes. Once step out of line and they were gone. Severus had been lucky. He had been in the inner circle and they get more chances. He was just glad he hadn't screwed up in the eyes of the Dark Lord before.

Voldemort. That's a name he would have to get used to saying. He had never called him that before but that's his name. He was not brave enough to call him Tom like Albus.

When they arrived at the great hall his heart broke once again. But he didn't care what he looked like now, with tears running down his cheeks. He knew he looked a state. He had taken a potion before they entered that would get rid of any crutiatus symptoms but he was still so shaky from what he had witnessed and now he had to tell the whole school why there beloved Eleanora would not be coming home.

‘Where is Eleanora, Severus?’ Minerva asked. He was glad she had asked. It was easier that way. It made him face the truth. He was glad she had brought him to a chair so he could sit having clearly noticed how unsure on his feet he was.

‘She not coming home’ was his reply. He still hadn't looked up until he felt a small body-hugging his legs and he pulled the young girl onto his lap hugging her close.

‘Why isn't Mummy coming home?’ he heard the small girl in his arms say. There wasn't a reply. The great hall watched as their fearless Potions Mater broke down with his small daughter in his arms and the knew what he had meant. The knew she was dead. They knew neither of them would be coming home. The room was filled with crying. People crying over Eleanor and her unborn child. People crying at the grief that Severus was now projecting across the room. He hadn't meant to do it but his presence always dominated a room but now all the could see was vulnerability and that scared some of them.

‘Severus, what happened?’ Dumbledore asked. He knew from the state of his colleague that it wasn't a pretty story but he needed to know. Voldemort had killed an unborn baby. This was the knowledge he could use to gain members for his army.

‘He tortured Severus’ Narcissa started before noticing that he had squeezed his eyes tight and clutched at his head as he remembered what had happened.

‘Crucio!’

He kept hearing the dark lord say the curse over and over.

‘Let's talk about this somewhere else’ Narcissa continued before pulling Albus away to the far corner of the room. By now there was barely anybody left in the room. Minerva had spoken moments ago telling all the students to go back to their room, that food would be supplied for them there and that there would be no classes for the rest of the week so they could mourn the loss of their beloved teacher.

Lucius pulled his daughter out of his arms who had fallen asleep from crying so hard and handed her over to Draco.

‘Take your cousin with you, Severus can't look after her just now, she will be better in the common room. I will pop by later with some clothes for her.’

Despite being a muggle studies teacher Elenora was respected by all houses. They all loved her. But despite that, some Slytherins just refused to see past what their parents had taught them but those few Slytherins still accepted Elisabeth. After all, she wasn't Eleanora birth child. Its why Voldemort didn't care about her. She was a half-blood. Like her father but she was the new generation.

Lucius guided his closest friends to his chambers. He knew that Narcissa would meet him there. They didn't even have to talk to know that they were not leaving Severus alone. He was most likely not going to sleep, guilt wracking through his head with thoughts of how he should have saved them. How he had left his child without her mother. The thoughts plagued him for many years after.

It had been seven years since the fateful night where he lost half his family. His daughter Elisabeth was now 11 starting her first year at Hogwarts. Voldemort had been defeated a few years prior. It was one of the most joyous occasions however they didn't come out of it without any casualties. Most death eaters had been sent to Azkaban. Despite the Malfoys and him not having the mark and fighting on the side of the light they also had to go on trial. That was a difficult time for him and his daughter. She wasn't ready to lose another parent. But she was lucky. Harry Potter and Severus had come to terms on the relationship and he defended them at trial. Told them he wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for him and also that without the help of Malfoys the ministry would have been sending many children his age to Azkaban for the rest of their lives.

It had taken him a while to get over the grief of losing Eleanora and their unborn child but he got there. By all means had he not forgotten her. No, she was at the front of his mind every day. Every dream he ever dreamt contained her, same with the nightmares. He couldn't witness the death of his wife like that without getting nightmares he knew that. But he was grateful to his daughter. She was a potioneer like himself and had tired herself profusely going through his old textbooks adapting his works before she finally created a potion that would not induce sleep but get rid of the nightmares. It had brought them closer and since the nightmares had gone that's when his recovery set into motion.

He had been diagnosed with severe PTSD but that was too be expected. Albus did not make it to the end of the war but he had come through for him in the end. He had gotten in contact with Severus’ uncle whom he was close to when he was a child before his mother took him away and forbade him to see him again. He was the reason he could cope with his grief. He had lived as a muggle and had gotten a job as a therapist going through all the training and now he was qualified as a magical therapist too.

He taught him how to remember the happy times when he felt himself slipping back into his grief and it worked now he could do it properly. It was like occlumency except nobody was in his mind. His happy memory was when he met Eleanora and when he proposed to her. Elisabeth had always asked him how the two occasions went but he never told her how. As selfish as it was he wanted to keep it as his own memory. Elisabeth was alive when they first met but she wasn't old enough for her to remember. He hated that she couldn't remember her, hated that he had allowed another mother to slip out of her life but she was better now. She had accepted it. Minerva had taken the motherly role over. He didn't care, she was like a mother to Severus too.

Walking into the great hall sent him back in time. Every year since Lord Voldemorts fall he would walk into the hall and smile at all the student who survived. All the students who had been affected by the war which was every single one of them. Either they had lost their parents to death or Azkaban, lost a limb, lost their sight, lost a twin, lost a sibling, lost a family or a loved one. Everyone had suffered. And yet here they were all sat, with happy smiling faces. It made him happy that he had chosen the correct side. That he was on the side who protected these children and the side that was now helping them to grow up to be the best version of themselves. But this year it wasn’t that which made him smile.

‘Elisabeth, nine years ago today this school met you for the very first time did you know that? And now here you stand in your uniform waiting to be sorted into your house as a student at this school’

Elisabeth had never heard this story before.

‘Can you tell me the story Dad?’

This was her favourite thing for him to do. She’d ask for a story and he would tell it. He was brilliant at storytelling. In Elisabeth's eyes anyway. She felt like she was apart of the story no matter what it was about. And so Severus set to telling his daughter the story.

Walking into the great hall nine years ago he could have laughed at the surprised faces of students as he walks past with a small smile on his face. He had sat down at his chair next to Minerva and whoever was going to be the DADA teacher that year. Hell, it didn't even faze him that he had been rejected once again for the Job. But his smile soon diminished when Poppy ran in with a sobbing child. The hall had quietened down as they were all trying to figure out whos child it was. They most certainly were not expecting Severus to rush forward and take the toddler out of the Matrons hands.

After a hushed conversation between the two, he brought a vial out of his pocket before giving it to the child to drink who immediately calmed down. He then gave her a dummy before moving back to his chair with the child on his hip. He was quick to notice that everyone was watching his movements, the students openly and the teachers more discreetly but he didn't care. His main priority at that moment was the sick child he held in his arms.

At only two years old, however, Elisabeth was very clear with what she wanted. Now that she was with her daddy she had calmed down dramatically. Poppy had mentioned that despite a calming potion she couldn't stop screaming for him so she was glad she brought her down. She was supposed to leave her to sleep like usual but she just couldn't. It was only when Severus repositioned Elisabeth on his lap did she notice the wedding band on his finger.

‘When did you get married!’

She didn't shout the words, but she didn't exactly speak either. Now the halls attention was on him again. He wasn't used to the attention it made him feel uncomfortable so he avoided everyone's eyes as he replied, instead choosing to stroke his daughter's hair as she fell asleep in his lap.

‘October 2nd.’ His reply was blunt and to the point, no more information was necessary.

‘And whos the lucky lady?’

‘Eleanora Carter’

Elisabeth loved this story. It was the best one she had heard in a while. She always thought everyone knew that her parents were dating and she certainly didn't know that they knew Eleanora wasn't her mother. After all, she was conceived before her parents had even met. But still, she watched as her fathers face lit up as he spoke about his late wife. She felt bad she couldn't remember the clearly amazing woman she had been but there was nothing she could do. She admitted a year prior that she looked into his Pensieve now and then to rewatch her father's memories of her and he admitted that he did that daily too. She didn't see her father again that night. He had congratulated her on getting into Gryffindor before letting her follow her prefect. He was trying to give her the most normal school life she could have with having a parent for a teacher.

And now he was sat in the great hall alone. Everyone had left hours before but Severus returned to dwell in his thoughts. Gazing around the great hall he sighed before smiling. He was finally in a state of silence.


End file.
